Social media has seriously changed the dating game and mainly for the positive despite the fact that there are more platforms you can be left on read now. But overall, the internet has created a place filled with accessible and essential resources that can be helpful when navigating relationships.
This is especially helpful for those exploring ethical non-monogamy and polyamory, for which mainstream representation and societal support is still hard to find. So because non-monogamous relationships are becoming more popular than ever, those that partake in the lifestyle have gone to TikTok to tell us all about it.
Whether you need help answering questions about polyamory, want to be a better ally to your non-monogamous buds, or seek the validation of seeing your own truth reflected in meme format, TikTok has content creators for you.
Let me just say, there’s a lot more to being non-monogamous than just navigating jealousy, and these TikTokers are tackling it all. Let’s get into the best content creators you can follow for all things polyamory and ethical non-monogamy.
Poly Philia is a popular polyamory account that blends relatable observations about non-monogamy with humor in an entertaining and informative way. Dissatisfied with the serious tone defining much of the non-monogamy content out there, the creator behind Poly Philia says she “wanted to inject some levity into the conversation” because comedy brings people together. Much of Poly Philia’s content is bite-sized and punchy, blending videos that are relatable if you’re already non-monogamous, while also providing unique insights into the lifestyle if you’re not.
Marjani’s TikTok shares the realities of being polyamorous—from what it’s like encountering couples new to the scene to the intersection of being a queer Black person. Much of her work outlines the racist circumstances polyamorous Black femmes in particular face. The goal of Marjani’s content is representation and education: “As a Black queer, my work focuses mainly on Black polyamorous people because we are often forgotten in a community that claims inclusion and diversity,” she says.
Morgan, who runs ChillPolyamory, uses her TikTok account to normalize the non-monogamous lifestyle. She answers common questions that come up, like what we should be asking new partners or what kinds of hurdles newcomers might face. She also takes it a step further by exploring the ways in which polyamory can play a role in challenging “socially constructed narratives.” Consider her to be a great resource for sharing the kinds of situations that arise in non-monogamy by offering language and ways of thinking to work through them.
Chad is a TikTok creator who makes funny response videos to typical critiques of polyamory, like that most poly relationships fail or that being poly is an excuse to sleep around. He also creates videos that normalize what a day in the life of a poly person looks like, including situations that a monogamous person might fear but a poly person would embrace, such as his partner finding another woman’s sweater in their bedroom. Polyamfam offers the unique perspective of a masculine polyamorous person, which is important to see given that many people incorrectly believe polyamory is solely a way for men to exploit women.
Jester Levity uses TikTok specifically to show what family looks like for polyamorous people. This TikTok is entertaining and educational for anyone wanting to see non-monogamy in the real world but is especially relevant for those who wonder how this lifestyle works when children are in the picture. We get to see the dynamic of someone spending time with their husband, the husband’s partner, the husband’s partner’s husband, his girlfriend, and the kids all being a loving family.
DecolonizingLove is a couples account featuring Millie and Nick who both answer questions. Their videos include fascinating discussions on “the role settler colonialism has played in the origins of compulsive monogamy” and how polyamory can help to disrupt the mentality around ownership of other human beings, among other issues that coincide with forced monogamy.
Poly Pages is a TikTok account that creates educational content about the meaning of various terms unique to the poly world—such as polysaturation. The account also discusses how to recognize signs of abuse in polyamory and how to navigate polyamory while long distance. Many of the videos touch on common non-monogamy questions and glossary terms like comet partners and polyfidelity, but they also dissect a lot of the red flags encountered in polyamory, like unqualified peer support and non-intersectional content.
As the name suggests, AntiMonoNormative focuses on challenging the concept of mono-normativity, aka the social expectation that romantic relationships should be monogamous. Nayeli is a queer, Indigenous, polyamorous person using TikTok to dig into the historical oppression and violence perpetrated by mono-normativity, including how frequently discussions of non-monogamy are centered around white, Western perspectives.
Despite what many people think, polyamorous and monogamous people can be in a relationship with each other, and this account shows viewers what exactly that looks like. Phi is monogamous but has been in a relationship with a polyamorous man for more than a decade—meaning she does not form romantic relationships with others, while her husband does. The “mono-poly” dynamic is centered on this TikTok and is a great resource for anyone considering this option for themselves.
Laura Boyle’s ReadyForPolyamory TikTok is a go-to resource for those looking for the basics of non-monogamy. They offer coaching, have written a book on polyamory, and also maintain a blog that includes a very useful glossary of terms. This is a great place for non-monogamy beginners to start for tips on communication, navigating Valentine’s Day, and how media representation of polyamory is lacking.