Grab your heart-shaped candy because the most romantic day of the year is almost here, folks. This means now—not in a few days, not next week, but now—is the time to plan all the ways to make your Valentine’s Day extra special this year. The good news is you don’t actually have to spend a fortune or plan a whole parade to make your partner feel all lovey-dovey. In fact, one of the easiest ways to go above and beyond is by having wild, sexy, passionate Valentine’s Day sex.
Granted, having sex is pretty much the only V-Day activity that doesn’t require a reservation or an overpriced Uber. But! That doesn’t mean it’s any less special or attention-worthy. In fact, putting a little thought into your Valentine’s Day sex is just about the hottest way to celebrate the holiday. Luckily, there are tons of ways to turn up the heat, most of which involve spending absolutely zero dollars. From starting with a romantic date to upping the kink factor or practicing some consensual rough play, the options are plentiful.
Just remember that whatever type of sex you decide to consensually indulge in this V-Day, don’t forget the aftercare. This is the act of making sure your partner feels safe and happy, which can look like cuddling, taking a bath together, or simply splitting a large pepperoni pizza and chatting afterward. And now without further ado, here are 26 ways to spice up your Valentine’s Day sex (or any sex, tbh) that’ll have even Cupid blushing.
It doesn’t matter how cheesy or cliché it seems, having an erotic massage session is like Setting the Mood 101. Sure, you could book a bougie couples massage somewhere, but you can also get that relaxed, blissed-out feeling at home, which is great because then you can quickly transition from deep tissue to deep penetration. Grab some massage oils and watch an instructional video before pampering your person with a rubdown.
While sex toys are obviously great for some solo time, they’re just as good for couples activities as well. Since only about 18 percent of cis women reach orgasm during penetrative sex alone, using a toy that adds some extra clitoral stimulation is essential. Here are some couples toys options that will help you *and* your partner have an extra-special V-Day orgasm.
If you’re more of a low-key couple who prefers nights on the couch over nights at the club (respect), why not lean into your usual hobbies by making them sexier? There are lots of sexy shows and movies out there that get the vibes flowing. Watch something erotic like Bridgerton or even American Horror Story, and if the mood strikes, consider recreating your favorite scene. If not, simply going at it on the couch while Regé-Jean Page licks a spoon in the background isn’t the worst way to spend V-Day.
You don’t have to go all Fifty Shades here, but if both you and your partner are interested in exploring dominance or submission, there’s no better time than on V-Day. After chatting (and getting consent, ofc), grab a pair of handcuffs or a blindfold and play around with some BDSM power dynamics. Just make sure to use a safe word and take things slow, communicating and checking in as you go.
This is a great one if your partner is competitive. There are loads of sexy games on the market. Find a card game where each card either asks you a question or gives you a dare and you have to answer.
If you’ve never paid for porn before, now’s the time. Find an ethical porn site with content geared toward the female gaze—aka porn where the woman actually looks like she’s having a good time and it’s believable. Watch it with your partner, ~touch each other~, and see what happens.
There are other ways to enjoy porn if watching it isn’t your thing. Grab a BDSM book or read an erotic story aloud, concentrating on the juicy bits. If you’re not one for reading around, explore audio porn instead. There’s tons of content out there to choose from depending on your preferences, so spend some time exploring before sharing what you each like. You know, like show-and-tell, but make it sexy.
Get out of bed. Seriously! If you have an empty house/apartment/dorm room, take your shenanigans to the bathroom, the sofa, the kitchen table, the washing machine (turn it on, trust me). Maybe even open the blinds, if you’re into a little bit of voyeurism.
If you and your person can’t physically be together this Valentine’s Day, no worries. Sex-toy brands like We-Vibe and Satisfyer have apps that pair with their vibrators and sex toys. When you download it to your phone, you can control the pressure, speed pulses, etc. of the vibrator or sex toy all from within the app itself.
This is especially perfect if you want to sex up this V-Day because with consent from you, it also lets your partner control your toy from their phone. This means that no matter where in the world you are, your partner can join you during your masturbation session. Très hot.
If you want to make your V-Day extra special, try a CBD-infused lube that will give you the best high. Plant-based sexual wellness brand Foria has an intimacy lube and arousal oil to enhance your pleasure and decrease any uncomfy penetration pain. Highly, highly recommend you give it a try.
Oh, and if you want a bundle, opt for Foria’s “quickie” kit, which includes its Awaken Arousal Oil, Intimacy Lube, and Intimacy Suppositories.
One way to really up the sexiness of the holiday is to spend it someplace else. If you have a few vacation days (or sick days, we won’t tell your boss) just begging to be used, plan a spontaneous getaway. Oftentimes you can snag deals on last-minute hotel rooms, flights, and cruises, especially if you’re not picky about the destination. Once there, drop your bags and take the mattress for a test drive or two before exploring the sights of a new city.
Home is nice and all, but it’s also likely where a lot of your stress lies. There’s laundry to put away, surfaces that need dusting, and if you have kids, there’s always the threat of them popping in at any second to disrupt you. “Stress is a libido killer, for sure,” says sex educator Cassandra Corrado.
That’s why she suggests booking a hotel room to take some pressure off yourself to clean and get everything ready for the perfect night. It doesn’t even have to be far! Book one right down the road, then hire a sitter or drop off the kiddos at their grandparents’ house for a distraction-free night of romance.
As hot as it might be to have your partner whisper their fantasies to you, the truth is that saying those fantasies out loud on the spot can be nerve-racking. “Putting pen to paper could help you unlock your sexual confidence,” Corrado says. She suggests setting time a week or so in advance to write the letters and then swap with each other on Valentine’s Day. To make things even more fun, read the stories aloud. Voices, costumes, and props are all *highly* encouraged.
Okay, v exciting news here: Hiring a private chef can often be cheaper than going out. Yes, it’s true, and yes, that means you can have some fancy-schmancy cook whip up a gourmet meal while you chill on the couch. Plus, you’ve got the added benefit of being able to share a bottle(s) of wine without needing a designated driver to get back home, says sex coach Myi Baker, founder of Lady Luxxxe.
“The privacy allows for more intimacy and makes for a much more romantic evening,” she adds. Just keep in mind, you’ll likely have to go over the menu in advance, so just like booking Valentine’s dinner on a night out, you’ll need to plan a bit beforehand.
It doesn’t have to be tantra—any workshop or class will do—but tantra is especially fitting for hot V-Day sex, as you and your partner will reap the rewards long after the class is over.
“These classes are focused on teaching the proper techniques for touch, intimacy, and massage in a fun and sexy way,” says Baker. Expect to learn new moves, go through bonding exercises, and learn new sensual touching techniques to turn up the heat year-round.
Plan on meeting at a bar (or a “bar” in your kitchen, if you’re staying in). Then introduce yourself to your significant other when they *happen* to sit right next to you. From there, you two can play out a situation with completely different occupations and names. The possibilities are endless! Take it to the bedroom and end your role-play fantasy with a bang.
Include all your favorite sexy songs in one playlist specifically for Valentine’s Day. Pick your fave bops with different beats and tempos so you can enjoy alllll kinds of rides along your many sex sessions.
Who said dessert has to be served at the dinner table? Bring the ice cream, whipped cream, or fave sweet treat into the bedroom. Serve it on you and your partner, and voilà—the best-tasting dessert you could ask for.
Think about it: You have a delicious glass of wine…and another…and another. Then dinner, then dessert, and all of a sudden, it’s midnight and you have work the next day. Full, buzzed, and exhausted aren’t always the best circumstances for boning. So get it on before you leave for your date instead, and spend the rest of the meal basking in a sexy afterglow. And, you know, more wine.
You shouldn’t go into a holiday that’s supposed to be fun all worked up over expectations of sex. If it doesn’t happen naturally, that’s okay! Enter: morning sex. There’s nothing quite like rolling over in a warm, groggy haze and whispering all the things you wish you had done last night into your partner’s ear. (You can be a little late to work.)
Because what’s better than one box of chocolate? Two! It’s cheap, affordable, and hella erotic when you’re dropping the pieces into each other’s mouths.
Some people are all about the candlelit meal with the soft violin music, and if that’s you, go for it! But if all the extra bells and whistles aren’t really your style, it’s easy to feel like you’re forcing the ~romance~, which can leave you feeling anything but sexy.
Instead, try an activity that focuses on togetherness and fun. Go to a show, order some takeout, or watch your fave Netflix series. An event that leaves you feeling connected might be more likely to inspire sexy times than a four-course dinner would.
Nothing builds up anticipation like sexting. If you shoot off quick, sexy missives of what you want to do to each other throughout the day, then come nighttime, you’ll have a hot script of your own to act out. The buildup is unbearable in the best possible way.
If you really want to go all in on the “this is the sex holiday” vibe, set a budget, buy a gift card to a lingerie store of your choosing, and write down your sizes with a note that says, “You pick.” They get to see you in lingerie and you get to keep said lingerie.